reliable | CLT – EFFECTIVE LANGUAGE TEACHING AND LEARNING

Golden or rotten memories of our own teachers will never disappear!

The golden memories of the teachers that we used to look up to will never fade away. Maybe we even tried to copy the ways of teaching of that person at the beginning of our career.

My favourite teacher happened to teach history. Later on at the university I realized he had five essential qualities:

He was … credible = he meant what he said and was a convincing , there was no pretending
He was … reliable = he followed his principles and rules consistently, we mostly knew what his reaction would be like
He was … empathic = he was on our side and fair in all situations
He had … emotional intelligence = he could sense our moods and emotional states and knew which strings to pull
He was … knowledgeable = he knew what he was teaching us and had the skill to get the message through to us

I always looked forward to the lessons since he had the ability to make the lessons fascinating with his stories, explanations and big cardboard pictures or slides. He had a great sense of humour and the first exam question was always a joke. He also played the guitar in a band and we sometimes sang songs in his lessons too.

Thanks to him I still believe that lectures can be an effective way of learning. Sad to say but good lecturers are hard to find. Lecturing is a skill most of us don’t have. Besides, students of today are often too impatient to listen to someone talking too long. That is why I always recommend student-centred methods which also guarantee better learning outcomes.

Pictures of this kind were the ones that stirred our imagination in the 1960s and 1970s. No computers, no overhead projectors. Some bad quality slides occasionally.

In spite of his old-fashioned teaching methods of the 1970s we enjoyed the captivating lessons and loved our history teacher because …

he gave us clear rules of behaviour and we knew exactly what we could do and were not allowed to do in his lessons, he even told why he insisted on those rules
he actually managed the class well and we felt the discipline was not harsh, we felt safe with him
he treated all of us the same no matter how good we were in history, he had some magical way of knowing if a weak student knew the answer and encouraged that student to reply
he was interested in us as individuals and kept on advising us while he was going around the class while we were working
he made clear from the very beginning that there were no bad answers and no-one was to be bullied or teased no matter what
he had a great sense of humour and the stories and jokes helped us to remember the big picture too
he was patient with us, guided us to grasp the main points of the lesson
he respected us and our opinions and raised his voice very seldom and

Above all we felt he was on our side, always ready to help us. Secondly, he was fair in his decisions and marking.

It is sad if the lesson means walking on thin ice!

Unfortunately we also had some bad teachers whose memory will never vanish either. In brief, what I am trying to convey to you is that in the end we teachers are measured at many levels and it is most unfortunate if we are remembered in such a negative light as I still after more than 50 years remember some of my teachers.

My worst school memories are from elementary school at the age of eight. I started to dislike my woodwork teacher because …

he beat me in front of others when I accidentally dropped a plane (a tool used for levelling wood) on the floor
he had very strict military-like discipline in class and he kept on shouting at us
he lost his temper easily and mocked students in public, he was a bully himself in modern terms
he controlled us with fear and used verbal or physical abuse
he believed in the power of physical punishments, sadly enough I did not dare to tell my parents about this incident
he told us once what to do and ignored our questions if we did not understand what to do or how to do it

Another bad memory concerns my class teacher at the same time in the elementary school.

she favoured one boy in many ways and we thought it was wrong but had no guts to tell her so
she got rid of a boy representing a minority group because he could not resist eating our colourful crayons, we never got to know his destiny

In the final year in the sixth form we had a hopeless physics teacher.

he had no authority in the class and the whole lesson was always a chaos
he entered the class, started talking and kept on talking even if we were not listening or learning anything
he did no care if we followed the lesson or learnt anything, the noise was awful and some of the boys were playing cards to pass the time away
he had no respect for us and neither did we for him, I shut my ears and read the physics book to learn at least something

The teacher can help us to build our tower of knowledge and behaviour or smash it down!

So far we have dealt with the following topics on class management and control:

10 basic principles in class control
The importance of planning the first lesson well
What are the qualities of a good teacher?
What are the qualities of a bad teacher?
Class control, how to succeed and fail in it
Gordon’s method, a wise teacher, the student-teacher relationships

In this article I will comment on Point 6, a fictional situation as an introduction to Gordon’s method in dealing with problematic situations.

You may be the only adult who cares about a student who is causing problems at school. What a responsibility!

The work of a teacher is not an easy one. There are lots of variables that affect the situations we are facing daily. That is why we need to have clear principles that we follow in our work and our students have to know them and agree to comply with them.

We have to be fair, reliable and consistent in what we do, and treat every student equally. Dealing with people is not an easy job. Still we have to develop a psychological eye and emotional intelligence: what works with student A does not necessarily work with student B.

When a problematic situation emerges the easiest thing to do is to give up, contact a special teacher or the head of the school or to punish the student. None of these things works properly since the cause of bad behaviour remains hidden. I do not believe in punishments but what is there left? … Meeting eye to eye relying on mutual respect!

Bad behaviour is usually just a reflection of some bad things in the life of the student: parents’ drinking problems, home violence and bullying, financial difficulties, unemployment, finding acceptance from other youngsters … So we need to see through the bad behaviour and get to the bottom of the issue.

My best advice to solve these problematic situations is to have a private conversation with the student. The conversation below is a fictional one but see if you can spot my tactics based on Gordon’s principles.

Read this dialogue first and then the one below with my comments.

Me: You know why we are sitting here, don’t you?

St: Yes, but Jimmy hit me first in the corridor and threw my cap on the floor. He’s an idiot and bullies me every day.

Me: So, you find it hard to control your emotions since you can’t bear the way he treats you. Right?

St: Hm, and I don’t want the others to laugh at me. I’m fed up with no-one doing anything about Jimmy. It’s him who should be sitting here, not me.

Me: Thanks for telling me. I will deal with him later but I will not mention your name, ok! But I think there is something else troubling your mind. You often seem very tired and you’re often late for lessons.
Is there anything I should know?

St: No, not really. I’m ok. I just have to take it as it comes.

Me: You know that this is between you and me. It’s confidential and I can see there is something going on. I don’t want your talents to be wasted.

Me: So, you cannot really focus on school work because of the things going on at home. Is it ok if I ask the social curator to contact your mum to clarify your and the other kids’ point of view.

St: Yeah. I do not dare to talk about it to my parents. They might kick me out of the house.

Me: I’m glad you told me this. I understand your behaviour better now. I don’t think it was right but I know all these things in your mind it may be hard for you to control your reactions.

St: Yes, I know if this goes on I will never get the grades I was hoping for. I will never pass the A-levels and get to uni.

Me: I think so too. So, what do you suggest we should do?

St: If you promise to talk to the curator and try to deal with Jimmy, I will talk to my classmates how to stop Jimmy from bullying. It’s not just me. Once the teachers don’t see, he picks on someone. Anyone will do.

Me: Ok, thanks. I have a clear picture of the situation now. Can we meet again next Friday and see where we stand?

St: Sure. Thanks, I need to go. The math lesson is starting.

I have the ‘Gordon-based’ comments on this dialogue below. I learnt the principles in the late 1980s and never gave them up. Besides, they work not only with students but with the kids at home, the wife, whoever …

Paradise or desert? Hope or despair? What is in the mind of the student when the discussion is over?

And here’s the same dialogue with my comments!

Me: You know why we are sitting here, don’t you? (I am not blaming the student but imply something has gone wrong)

St: Yes, but Jimmy hit me first in the corridor and threw my cap on the floor. He’s an idiot and bullies me every day. (St gives his version of the incident and what caused it.)

Me: So, you find it hard to control your emotions since you can’t bear the way he treats you. Right? (I use ‘active listening’ in Gordens terms: I interpret the feelings of the boy and imply I undestand his views even if I may not approve of his behaviour)

St: Hm, and I don’t want the others to laugh at me. I’m fed up with no-one doing anything about Jimmy. It’s him who should be sitting here, not me. (The boy gives other reasons for his irritation and finds the situation unfair.)

Me: Thanks for telling me. I will deal with him later but I will not mention your name, ok! But I think there is something else troubling your mind. I feel sorry for you since you oftem seem very tired and you’re often late for lessons.
Is there anything I should know? (Thanking the boy implies that I am on the boy’s side and will act upon the problem. I send him ‘I-message’ expressing my feelings for him trying to make him open up about the real problem that has not even been talked about.)

St: No, not really. I’m ok. I just have to take it as it comes. (The boy does not trust me yet and denies there is anything else going on. Even if he stopped talking to me at this point, he knows someone = me is willing to help him.)

Me: You know that this is between you and me. It’s confidential and I can see there is something going on. I don’t want your talents to be wasted. (I try to make the boy rely on me and send another I-message implying I am worried and I like him and think he has good qualities.)

St: Well, my dad lost his job four months ago and he started drinking and my mum quarrels with him every day. We kids try to stay out of it but it is getting rough and I’m scared of what may happen. (The boy opens up about the TRUE REASON why he is behaving badly: his life at home is a mess.)

Me: So, you cannot really focus on school work because of the things going on at home. Is it ok if I ask the social curator to contact your mum to clarify your and the other kids’ point of view. (I use ‘active listening’ to check if I got it right suggest an adult solution to the problems at home because I don’t think the boy would come up with this idea.)

St: Yeah. I do not dare to talk about it to my parents. They might kick me out of the house. (The boy realizes I am on his side and tells me why he has kept the issue to himself. If I didn’t know the real reasons for his behaviour, I would treat him differently.)

Me: I’m glad you told me this. I understand your behaviour better now. I don’t think it was right what you did but I know all these things in your mind it may be hard for you to control your reactions. (I show the boy empathy with my I-messages even if I do not approve of his behaviour.)

St: Yes, I know if this goes on I will never get the grades I was hoping for. I will never pass the A-levels and get to uni. (Now the boy seems to trust me even more and tells me about another thing troubling his mind.)

Me: I think so too. So, what do you suggest we should do? (NOTE, I do not give him the solution to the ‘Jimmy’ problem. He has to come up with it himself. In Gordon’s terms: it is a ‘win-win’ situation, both are happy at the end of the discussion.

Me: Ok, thanks. I have a clear picture of the situation now. Can we meet again next Friday and see where we stand? (I approve of the solution and will act upon it accordingly. Then I agree on a date when we will check if the solution has worked.)

St: Sure. Thanks, I need to go. The math lesson is starting. (The boy expresses his gratitude and seems to want to study eagerly.)

If we desert a problematic student, there may be no-one else to help him/her. However, when the matter is solved, our reward is to see smile back on the student’s face. Patience is a virtue!

The next article will deal with the Gordon method of solving problematic situations in more detail.

Active listening
Sending I-messages
Win-win solutions

CLT – EFFECTIVE LANGUAGE TEACHING AND LEARNING

Tag Archives: reliable

Qualities of good and bad teachers

Gordon’s method, a sample dialogue